OFFICER -- "Watch your speed. It's a holiday weekend so there are a lot more cops out."
ME -- Why didn't you tell me that before you pulled me over? Like, maybe with your bullhorn?
ME -- (Fighting back tears.) "Tanner, I got a speeding ticket. It's such a stupid waste of money. I'm so sorry." (Sniffle.)
TANNER -- (Laughing amicably.) "Oh, don't worry about it! It's OK. No big deal. I've done it too, and gotten my fair share of tickets. It happens to everyone."
ME -- Huh!? Why didn't you tell me that when I backed into the closed driveway gate with my truck, destroying our rental property?
TANNER -- Because I've NEVER done that.