Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Routine Failure

Obviously, regular blog posting is a routine or habit that I just haven't gotten the hang of. With my last post dated June 6, I'd venture so far as to say I stink at it.

The odd thing is, I absolutely love routines and habits (good ones, not "bad" ones like biting your nails or drinking a fifth of gin before work each day).

Anyways, routines can be all comforting and cozy, like having a glass of Sleepy Time herbal tea each night before bed; healthy, like working out three-five days a week, doing a self breast exam each month or taking your vitamins each day; spiritual, like getting up early every morning to read your Bible and pray; creative, like sewing five quilt squares a week; efficient, like cleaning one small area of the house (such as dusting the ceiling fans) each night instead of saving the whole house all for the weekend; beautifying, like applying Jergens gradual tan lotion, anti-cellulite cream, anti-wrinkle cream and anti-fugly cream each night.

I love routines! I love the idea of them, the security and regularity of them. I love adopting them, and I apparently love FAILING at them. In case you haven't figured it out, the preceding paragraph is just the teeniest tiniest itty-bittyiest sampling of a list of habits that I have at one time (and some, many times) tried to implement and failed at. Some are more important than others, obviously. And, it's apparent blogging once a week (who thought it'd be so hard?) should be tacked onto the list. I envy people who are very routine-oriented. It's so, well, all of the adjectives listed above. Who knows why I'm so awful at regularity (those who know me well, too well, realized this applies to me in more ways than one). I'd like to blame my parents or drinking water with fluoride in it, but the truth is it's probably just because I'm not perfect. I'm a fallen wreck who just happens to pull it together sometimes, and that's OK. I've come to terms with it. (Fluoride did cause this little brown spot on my front tooth though.)

While I'm OK with my routine failure, I get over it and keep unsuccessfully trying, it does disappoint me often. I created this blog as a way to keep our friends and family updated on Tanner's and my goings-on and as a way to have a creative writing outlet. In that sense, I've failed both my family and myself. I am sincerely going to try to be more regular, but if history repeats itself... let's just say, be patient with me.

I do need to take one small moment to brag. There are a few healthy habits I've been able to form, and I'm ready to give myself, rather me and Tanner, a pat on the back. We say "I love you" every day, and we mean it. And, we look for ways each day (well, most every day) to show that we mean it. The reward? We celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Sept. 19 of this year.

Our 1st Anniversary on the San Antonio River Walk

Here's to a great year with my wonderful husband. It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't perfectly documented in bloggy land as I'd planned. But it was full of love, laughter, learning and lots of happiness. Marrying Tanner was by far the best thing I've ever done (besides being born, but I don't remember that so well), and something I plan to see through until the day I die. I can't think of any other way I'd rather spend my life. When I look back on all that I've experienced this past year – how I've grown in wisdom, humility, love and joy; how I've been blessed with hours upon hours of quality time with a man I love more than I can express; how God's stirred in my heart and walked alongside me – I realize there are a lot more important things in life than remembering to embalm yourself in beauty products each night.



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