Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My "Baby's" Belated Birthday

So, this is a little belated, mostly because I haven't quite gotten in the swing of regular and timely blogging. But, last Thursday was Tanner's 26th birthday. I'll save the post for how the reality of turning 26 cripples me for my own birthday, in March.

Tanner's birthday is really important to me, and I'm pretty sure I care more about it than he does. But for me, it is a heartfelt celebration of a man that I love so deeply. It's a celebration of one of the greatest men to ever live (second, obviously to Jesus and tied with my Dad and all that). January 14, 1984 was one of the most important days of my life, and I wasn't even born yet (I was, however two months from being born, 9-some-odd pounds, and kicking the $&!* out of my mom). I would live 21 years before I even knew this man, who would change my life, existed.

So, I love January 14th. Despite some of the grand things I've planned for Tanner in the past, this year we kept it pretty low-key (to save $ for our early anticipated Canadian vacation). I made him breakfast and his favorite "Tanner Cake," called him 234234 times through out the day, refused to call him anything but "birthday boy," gave him presents, and took him out to dinner at a great place in Weatherford -- my treat.

The things boys want for their birthday...

My favorite part of the night was when Tanner and I sat down and looked at some of his childhood pictures. The first time his mom shared these pictures with me when Tanner and I were engaged was a life-changing moment for me, and permanently altered the way I see Tanner. To see his childhood pictures took me to a new level of loving Tanner that I could never have imagined possible, and can't exactly explain. But, I'll do my best.

Seeing that twinkle in his eye as a baby when he mischievously rummaged through Mom's cabinets; that big toothy smile he flashed before he was self conscious enough to realize he didn't like his smile; that overwhelming expression of excitement over dad's knife collection laid out on the floor or his new GI Joe; that radiance of pride in his baseball uniform; that tender hug with Grandma; that glow of independence atop a horse all alone -- seeing all those things in the pictures gave me the chance to know Tanner and appreciate him more deeply than I could have before. Through those pictures, I was able to understand who Tanner is at heart in a new way, and not only celebrate those past moments, but in a way experience them, which makes me feel almost impossibly close with him in mind and spirit.

The pictures show me that Tanner still is that boy, playful and sweet and vulnerable. But, they also remind me of how much he's grown and changed into this man I know now, responsible and honorable and strong. In 26 years, he's evolved from a child into a man who loves and protects me, provides for our family, plans our future, and strives to do right. And he's managed to maintain a childlike joy and carefree spirit, while also developing integrity and selflessness. OK, my cheeks are all soggy, so I'll just share some pics with you and tell you how I desperately hope I have a little boy someday who looks just like this one.


  1. Those pics are precious! I'm shocked Tanner let you put them up. I'm not sure if Rob would have. Yeah, I guess he would. Because I'd make him.

  2. Awwww, You are blessed to have so many wondeful pictures of your husband. Now you know why we parents of the 80's babies possess 25 photo albums of you (all assembled before you turned 12--the age of resistance :). I knew there was a great reason to take ALL those pictures and for those shelves and shelves and shelves of photo albums! You have put the pictures to good use.



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