Sweet Stace

I am so blessed to have not only a great mother who birthed me and raised me and filled me up with so much love it spewed out my ears, but also a wonderful mother-in-law who did all those things for my husband and welcomed me into her family like one of her own.

Me and Stacy at my bridal shower

On Mother's Day weekend, Tanner and I went to Eldorado to spend Mother’s Day with Tanner’s mom, Stacy, as well as his dad, Mike, sister, Mindy, and her husband, Tye. Let me tell you something about Eldorado: There is not much to do there. Let me tell you why that is awesome. We end up doing things like piling in bed with Stacy and just talking. We paint each other’s nails, talk about decorating and fashion and do hair (girls only!). We clean gutters, rebuild porch swings and trim trees together (boys only!). We make an event out of going to church. We sit on the porch and chat and pet the cat.

That is, until Tanner gets the cat so riled up that it’s attacking everyone. Nothing makes me laugh and fill with fear at the same time like that crazy look cats get – when they flatten their ears to the side and bug their eyes – right before they jump and wrap their front legs around your tender foot and bite the heck out of your big toe.

Now let me tell you something about Stacy. She’s one heck of a woman. Tanner and his Eldorado crew lovingly dubbed her “Sweet Stace” back in the day. She’s tender and nurturing. She smiles, all the time. She takes time to compliment everyone. She writes thoughtful notes. She sends gift cards and pocket money for no special occasion, just because. She calls for no special reason, just to catch up. She asks thoughtful questions. She listens. She cares – about everyone. She never speaks a bad word about anyone.

Tanner and Stacy at our wedding

She’s also one tough cookie. She brought two children into this world – with no medication! – and is there for them every moment of every day. She faithfully supported and carried her family through trials and struggles without complaint. She made a small house, in the early years, a home, and guided four people to peacefully coexist while all sharing one bathroom. A-ma-zing. She works full time, then in her spare time, she helps with the bible study at the church, volunteers with Lions Club and helps several people manage their rental properties, businesses and finances. Despite this busy schedule, every person she runs across feels like they have her undivided attention.

Stacys also got faith, and God gave her an extra helping. No matter the circumstance, she does not worry or doubt. She is a rock, but a tender one. During the passing of family members, Stacy is the one who comforts everyone. When someone is sick, Stacy cares for them, and she takes care of the things no one else can. She prays for her family, reads her Bible and lives out her faith in ways great and small. She will be the first one to tell you she’s not perfect. No one is; we all know that. But she’s about as close as it gets!

Every day for Stacy should be Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, we don’t always take the time to tell her how much we love her, so that weekend was a great opportunity to do just that! And we loved every minute of it.

Tanner and Mindy with Stacy on Mother's Day 2011!

This last weekend, Tanner and I had another chance to celebrate another woman who’s conquered the world and more, my mom! We visited my parents, enjoyed the River Haus and had another Mother’s Day! More to come...

It's Been a Good Year

Last month, Tanner and I celebrated our first year anniversary. A week before our actual anniversary, Sept. 19, we headed to New Braunfels and San Antonio to celebrate.

Any time we get a chance, we head to my family's River House in New Braunfels, which has been in the Sullivan family since my dad was born – so, about 45 years ;) It's the place I feel most at home in this big ol' world.

This little guy greeted us. I thought he was very cute. One time, in college, my sister accidentally shut a huge toad in her door and it was still alive. Then she realized she had locked herself out of the house, and the toad was trapped. Waiting for the Pop-A-Lock guy was a very traumatic experience.

We love taking the dogs down to the water. They are so happy, and the scenery is so beautiful.

One of those moments of pure majesty.

Like I said, pure majesty.
(I forgot my swimsuit. So no pictures of me in my Walmart sports bra and booty shorts.)

After a day a the river, we headed into San Antonio for something a little different.

We checked out the Alamo...



and the Riverwalk.

Then we headed to Boudro's on the Riverwalk, where the table side guacamole and the fire-roasted salsa are AMAZING...

and the view is breathtakingly beautiful.

I mean, breathtakingly beautiful.

More sightseeing after dinner...


Then a little surprise I orchestrated for my hubs back at our B&B, The River Vista Hotel (AMAZING place, FYI).

The next day, we were overdosed on champagne and romance, so we invited my parents up to the River House with us. That's how we roll.

Irrelevant. He just melts my heart.

Mom and Dad took us out to dinner,

and gave us a gift certificate to Country Custom Pine in Weatherford for a new dining room table.

It was a great way to celebrate one year of being married. After it all, there's nothing we enjoy more than simply spending time together.

I love you, Tanner.

These are the words I would say

I used to think it was really super-duper mega-mondo dorky to listen to Christian radio. Even though I was a Christian (FYI, I still am), I thought the songs were really, well, bad. Musically speaking that is. I remember being shocked to hear the Houston Christian radio station playing in the apartment of my former youth leader and cool music connoisseur, Kirsten. ("Kir" rhymes with "ear," not "err" – this is important to avoiding Kirsten's wrath. You will find out why avoiding her wrath is very important in just a couple sentences.) If you know Kirsten or have visited her blog, you know she's anything but dorky. Hello, she plays roller derby. Case and a point.

This morning, one of my close friends, Jennifer-the-huntress (I like to befriend with girls who do things like bodycheck people on roller skates or shoot fish with a bow and arrows), text messaged me to check in and see what's up. Then I got a text from my mom about Thanksgiving with my Grandma. (Apparently, people don't like the sound of my voice.) That and some other things that have happened recently – such as a phone call from my best friend since high school, a visit with an old friend from college, a bossy message from my sister, and a Facebook post by Debbie Ballew, someone from Tanner's hometown who we love very much – got me thinking of all the friends and family in my life who I don't get to see very much now that I live in Siberia (aka North Texas). I miss them. I love them.

I don't know if the music has gotten better, if I've gotten more dorky or if I've gotten over that pretentious music-snob phase people sometimes go through – Oh my gosh, you don't know who ::insert obscure band name here:: is? But now I enjoy listening to Christen radio. The lyrics inspire, convict and encourage me, and a song, "The Words I Would Say," that I've been hearing on the DFW Christian station lately seem not dorky at all, but just right for how I've been feeling today.

Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Sidewalk Prophets

Routine Failure

Obviously, regular blog posting is a routine or habit that I just haven't gotten the hang of. With my last post dated June 6, I'd venture so far as to say I stink at it.

The odd thing is, I absolutely love routines and habits (good ones, not "bad" ones like biting your nails or drinking a fifth of gin before work each day).

Anyways, routines can be all comforting and cozy, like having a glass of Sleepy Time herbal tea each night before bed; healthy, like working out three-five days a week, doing a self breast exam each month or taking your vitamins each day; spiritual, like getting up early every morning to read your Bible and pray; creative, like sewing five quilt squares a week; efficient, like cleaning one small area of the house (such as dusting the ceiling fans) each night instead of saving the whole house all for the weekend; beautifying, like applying Jergens gradual tan lotion, anti-cellulite cream, anti-wrinkle cream and anti-fugly cream each night.

I love routines! I love the idea of them, the security and regularity of them. I love adopting them, and I apparently love FAILING at them. In case you haven't figured it out, the preceding paragraph is just the teeniest tiniest itty-bittyiest sampling of a list of habits that I have at one time (and some, many times) tried to implement and failed at. Some are more important than others, obviously. And, it's apparent blogging once a week (who thought it'd be so hard?) should be tacked onto the list. I envy people who are very routine-oriented. It's so, well, all of the adjectives listed above. Who knows why I'm so awful at regularity (those who know me well, too well, realized this applies to me in more ways than one). I'd like to blame my parents or drinking water with fluoride in it, but the truth is it's probably just because I'm not perfect. I'm a fallen wreck who just happens to pull it together sometimes, and that's OK. I've come to terms with it. (Fluoride did cause this little brown spot on my front tooth though.)

While I'm OK with my routine failure, I get over it and keep unsuccessfully trying, it does disappoint me often. I created this blog as a way to keep our friends and family updated on Tanner's and my goings-on and as a way to have a creative writing outlet. In that sense, I've failed both my family and myself. I am sincerely going to try to be more regular, but if history repeats itself... let's just say, be patient with me.

I do need to take one small moment to brag. There are a few healthy habits I've been able to form, and I'm ready to give myself, rather me and Tanner, a pat on the back. We say "I love you" every day, and we mean it. And, we look for ways each day (well, most every day) to show that we mean it. The reward? We celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Sept. 19 of this year.

Our 1st Anniversary on the San Antonio River Walk

Here's to a great year with my wonderful husband. It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't perfectly documented in bloggy land as I'd planned. But it was full of love, laughter, learning and lots of happiness. Marrying Tanner was by far the best thing I've ever done (besides being born, but I don't remember that so well), and something I plan to see through until the day I die. I can't think of any other way I'd rather spend my life. When I look back on all that I've experienced this past year – how I've grown in wisdom, humility, love and joy; how I've been blessed with hours upon hours of quality time with a man I love more than I can express; how God's stirred in my heart and walked alongside me – I realize there are a lot more important things in life than remembering to embalm yourself in beauty products each night.

Amen.

What is Love?

What is love?

If your first response isn't to bob your head and sing to yourself, "Baby don't hurt me," then you obviously weren't a teenager during the late nineties munching on Twizzlers and Sour Patch Kids while slurping a Diet Dr. Pepper and watching Night at the Roxbury.

Love is, however, something more than a bad club song immortalized in an equally bad Saturday Night Live skit movie spinoff.

Love is this:

I, Tanner, choose you, Erin, to be my wife.
I promise to treasure you and take care of you,
to remain faithful to you no matter the circumstances,
to guide and protect you,
to be trustworthy and honest,
and to show you unwavering love and patient forgiveness as Christ has shown me.
All that I am and all that I have is yours, because in God’s eyes we are one until death.

I love Valentine's Day. (I told you I had some back-blogging to do, and I meant it, dern it.) It will forever be a reminder of the love I share with my husband. It will be a day that small gifts, like

roses,


foot cream (and foot rubs), chocolates, cards,



and quiet nights cozied on the couch with a glass of wine,

will remind me of BIG gifts like

the night I was told that I was a one-and-only, a treasure, a woman to be desired; and all the days and nights that came and are to come as a result of a declaration, a question, a ring, and a promise.

Valentine's Day gets a bad wrap: "It's a ploy by greeting card companies and chocolate manufacturers to suck the ever-living daylight out of your emaciated pocket book." Yeah, they (the Man) have found ways to capitalize off of Valentine's Day, but the holiday has its roots in something beautiful and pure: L-O-V-E. Not the cheap kind of mass-produced love that you can buy, but real love. One popular explanation behind the origin of Valentine's is that a third-century priest gave his life to protect and honor the covenant of marriage. That's beautiful. And while we're supposed to show love all year round, I treasure the chance to spend a day purposefully being reminded of all the ways I've been loved, and all the opportunities I have to love others.

Even if you didn't get engaged on Valentine's Day like I did, why not make it a day to remind you and your spouse of how great it is to be given the gift of love. You can do this in many ways: gifts, a romantic night out, or simply a kind word of appreciation. Whatever gives you a moment of shared joy, laughter, appreciation, and happiness.

For Tanner and I, what makes us happy and romantic is apparently breaking the tails off of mud-sucking shellfish, eating their tail flesh, and then sucking their heads.

Like I said, whatever floats your boat.

I'm linking up with Tuesday's Unwrapped @ Chatting at the Sky (a place for your soul to breath).

My "Baby's" Belated Birthday

So, this is a little belated, mostly because I haven't quite gotten in the swing of regular and timely blogging. But, last Thursday was Tanner's 26th birthday. I'll save the post for how the reality of turning 26 cripples me for my own birthday, in March.

Tanner's birthday is really important to me, and I'm pretty sure I care more about it than he does. But for me, it is a heartfelt celebration of a man that I love so deeply. It's a celebration of one of the greatest men to ever live (second, obviously to Jesus and tied with my Dad and all that). January 14, 1984 was one of the most important days of my life, and I wasn't even born yet (I was, however two months from being born, 9-some-odd pounds, and kicking the $&!* out of my mom). I would live 21 years before I even knew this man, who would change my life, existed.

So, I love January 14th. Despite some of the grand things I've planned for Tanner in the past, this year we kept it pretty low-key (to save $ for our early anticipated Canadian vacation). I made him breakfast and his favorite "Tanner Cake," called him 234234 times through out the day, refused to call him anything but "birthday boy," gave him presents, and took him out to dinner at a great place in Weatherford -- my treat.

The things boys want for their birthday...

My favorite part of the night was when Tanner and I sat down and looked at some of his childhood pictures. The first time his mom shared these pictures with me when Tanner and I were engaged was a life-changing moment for me, and permanently altered the way I see Tanner. To see his childhood pictures took me to a new level of loving Tanner that I could never have imagined possible, and can't exactly explain. But, I'll do my best.

Seeing that twinkle in his eye as a baby when he mischievously rummaged through Mom's cabinets; that big toothy smile he flashed before he was self conscious enough to realize he didn't like his smile; that overwhelming expression of excitement over dad's knife collection laid out on the floor or his new GI Joe; that radiance of pride in his baseball uniform; that tender hug with Grandma; that glow of independence atop a horse all alone -- seeing all those things in the pictures gave me the chance to know Tanner and appreciate him more deeply than I could have before. Through those pictures, I was able to understand who Tanner is at heart in a new way, and not only celebrate those past moments, but in a way experience them, which makes me feel almost impossibly close with him in mind and spirit.

The pictures show me that Tanner still is that boy, playful and sweet and vulnerable. But, they also remind me of how much he's grown and changed into this man I know now, responsible and honorable and strong. In 26 years, he's evolved from a child into a man who loves and protects me, provides for our family, plans our future, and strives to do right. And he's managed to maintain a childlike joy and carefree spirit, while also developing integrity and selflessness. OK, my cheeks are all soggy, so I'll just share some pics with you and tell you how I desperately hope I have a little boy someday who looks just like this one.

Date Night! Newlyweds Leave the Nest.

The thing about my office is, there's only three of us there. Because it's an intimate group, the work environment is pretty laid back. For example, we bring our dogs to the office. The casual circumstances also mean I don't dress up for work -- AT ALL. My daily attire usually consists of jeans, a top, sweatshirt, Crocs/flip flops, and a ponytail.

For some reason, after returning from my single-life reunion the other weekend, I woke up Monday and got all dressed up. I had purchased some new sweaters at Kohls before I left for the weekend in College Station, and I'm one of those people who wants to wear the new clothes I buy the very next day. So, I got all gussied up: new belted sweater, skinny jeans tucked into some black boots, and my nice black wool winter coat. I even straightened my hair and wore it down. I had no reason to look decent, just felt like it. (Maybe I was inspired by all the single girls in College Station, who still take the time to make themselves look presentable!) I even thought as I was going out the door, "Man, why am I wasting this cute outfit today? I should have saved it for a day when I had a doctor appointment, or something, so at least someone would see it!"

As it turned out, the outfit was not wasted. Tanner called me at work, and told me he had been missing me. We were both gone all weekend, and the week before he had been working until 9 or 10 each night. My sweet guy then asked me if I'd like to go out to dinner at one of our favorite local Italian joints in Weatherford, Pastafina. I was so happy. 1) It's always good to feel like you've been missed, and to know someone thinks about you when you're not there. 2) It's great to have something special to look forward to during the work day. 3) My cute outfit would be appreciated. 4) I love carbs.

The thoughtfulness didn't end there. When I got home, Tanner surprised me with flowers! What a guy. We had a great night, just chatting and eating and being together. Who says the romance has to die when you get married?

A happy newlywed, glowing over flowers and a dinner date!

Mr. Thoughful himself.