Eldorado: The Place to Be!

I would like to tell you more about the West Texas town of Eldorado, where Tanner was born and raised.


Let’s start with the facts. Eldorado is the county seat of Schleicher County. Eldorado is the only town in Schleicher County. Eldorado is the best town in Schleicher County! Boo-ya!

The town sits at the top of the Edwards plateau (Welcome to Eldorado: Top of the Divide Elevation 2,439!), and it’s surrounded by plenty of beautiful West Texas landscape -- and deer, lots of 'em. The proof is in the bar ditch, on the side of the road, in the middle of the road and on grill guards, in bits and pieces. The proof is also in the hunters who flock there during deer season.

About 1,800 people live in Eldorado. For comparison, my high school in Katy, Texas, has about 1,100 students in each graduating class. But size is not everything. It’s about personality! Or maybe I should say it's about THE personalities. A large part of what makes Eldorado great are the people.

Tanner (left) with Matt, Ross and Andrew

Most of Tanner's childhood friends are still his closest and most loyal friends today. Built on a foundation of shared experiences, faith, heart-to-hearts and plenty of mudding, hunting, bbq-ing, road trips and farting competitions, those friendships that have survived going off to different colleges, getting married, having babies and settling down in various big cities and small towns are priceless. Relationships like those are one of life's greatest treasures, and for Tanner, those treasures began and grew in his home town.

Eldorado Eagles - Class of 2002!

Eldorado was small and safe, so boys could be wild, adventurous and out on their own without parents worrying. It was remote and and surrounded by rugged, beautiful country, so it was the perfect place for hunting, off-road excursions, swimming-hole trips, and camping. It was tight-knit, a real community, so that your friends' parents simply became your second parents, letting you sleepover and raid their pantry, carting you around and cheering you on at games (or complimenting the "interesting" things you made in welding class, in Tanner's and Jason's cases).

Scott (left), Andrew and Tanner head off on a road trip

Growing up in Eldorado was like growing up surrounded by your extended family. It's an extended family that celebrates with you or takes care of you when your struggling. It's a family that follows you even when you leave Eldorado. It's a family welcomes your wives, husbands and children with open arms.

One big family

I love Eldorado because it had a huge part in making Tanner who he is, and I love who he is! Outdoorsy, country, adventurous, fearless, mechanical, tough, fiercely loyal, loving, hard working and with a great sense of humor and passion for life!

I love Eldorado because Tanner's friends became such an important part of my life. My best friend, Summer, introduced me to Tanner after she began dating Andrew, one of Tanner's best Eldo buds. Summer and Andrew got married two years before us, are expecting a baby, and despite the fact that they live in Colorado and we don't see them as often as we'd like, Tanner and I could probably say there are few people on earth we feel closer to. Andrew's mom, Liz, also helped me plan my wedding, and his dad, Andy, married me and Tanner.

Tanner and I with Andrew and Summer

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It doesn't end there or anywhere near it! Tanner lived with Andrew, Jason, Thomas and Scott all through college. The stories of Jason and Tanner together as little boys are hilarious, and those two are so alike, it's scary. Jason and Tanner have inhaled welding fumes side-by-side for years, and now they work side-by-side in the oilfield at the same company! Jason and his wife, Susannah, are two of our go-to people in Weatherford for everything from a fun night out to "Can you please feed the horses?" And we know we even could on Jason's parent's, who live close by, for a favor anytime if needed to.

Then

And now

Although Thomas passed away in 2005, I feel like he is with us both everyday. I can't imagine my life without his family, the Ballew family, in it, and I love popping over to see Ray and Debbie -- and which ever kiddo happens to be in town -- most every time we go to Eldo.

Andrea, Tanner and Thomas in college

With Debbie and Ray at my bridal shower, hosted by the First Presbyterian Church

I could go on an on. From Wesley and Matt meeting us out at the River House whenever we're in New Braunfels to catching up with Jeff and his beautiful new wife, Lori, at Summer's baby shower in Katy to random visits from Tana or facebook-ing with Hallie, the people of this lil' West Texas town have become such a part of my heart.

But that's all from my perspective. And this is supposed to be a newlywed blog. Contrary to how it may appear at times, I am in fact not married to myself. Ha! I have heard COUNTLESS Eldo memories, recollections, tall tales and highly entertaining stories from Tanner over the six years we have been together. On a recent road trip to none other than Eldorado, I got Tanner started on the subject of home sweet home, then pulled out my laptop and transcribed as he talked. I've done it a few time since then, and I'm putting together a nice compilation of Eldorado stories and childhood memories that I plan to share on my our blog.

Be prepared! And keep an eye out for Ye Old Eldorado Stories, because they're good... and the pictures, they're even better!

Sweet Dreams and Beauty Cream

Recently, Tanner has made several comments about my nighttime routine. They go something like this: “What the HECK are you DOING in there?”

The first few times, I answered him literally.
“Well, I’m currently staring at myself in the mirror and sucking in and flexing my “abs” and rearranging my belly and hip pudge so I can get an idea of what I could potentially look like if I stopped eating a pecan praline, four Girl Scout cookies and one square of dark chocolate a day.”

Then I realized he was trying to make a point. I hate it when they do that.

The point being, what could anyone possibly be doing in the bathroom that would take 15-plus minutes?

Eek. Don’t answer that.

What non-toilet-related things could anyone possibly do doing every night that would take that long?

So I got to wondering if my nighttime routine is excessive, or if it is only excessive compared to Tanner’s:

-Take off clothes. (optional)
-Put on shorts. (no comment)
-Turn off lights and pull back sheets. (optional)
-Collapse on bed. (mandatory)

Mine goes something like this:

-Brush teeth (BORING, and does anyone else have such trouble keeping the toothpaste foam from coming out all over their lips?)
-Wash face
-Cringe while removing a cotton pad from the bag – egads! I hate cotton balls and cotton pads and Q-tips – then apply toner
-Apply wrinkle cream to forehead, neck and chest
-Apply eye cream
-Stare into the endless, black abyss of my pores
-Do the blubber rearranging thing

If I remember:
-Put cellulite cream onto unnamed areas. And no, I do not do this while eating a praline.
I wait until I’m done.
-Floss (BORING)
-Use mouthwash (BURNS and BORING)
-Take vitamins and probiotics

-Put on PJs
-Check every door in house 3 times to make sure it’s really locked and click the remote lock on truck keys until the truck horn can be heard CLEARLY three times
-Put the dogs to bed and give Happy pills if he needs them. Lay on Happy’s bed with him and speak unspeakable, sappy, ridiculous, humiliatingly corny baby talk to him.
-Get in bed.
-Put lotion on legs.
-Put lotion on feet.
-Put on chapstick.
-Put in mouth guard and, if the fan is on, my satin eye cover, beauty sleep thing (because I swear I sleep with my eyes half open and the fan dries them out).
-Snuggle into bed.
-Realize I have to go to the bathroom.

That pretty much sums it up.

You?

P.S. Sweet Dreams and Butt Cream was my original post title.

A Boy's Dream

Tonight, one of Tanner's dreams came true.

For $1, at a Redbox outside Walmart, he rented a movie.

He took that movie home, and placed it in the DVD player.

The cast included Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, Randy Couture (UFC fighter), and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

In the first two minutes, as I was cooking dinner, I heard him gleefully exclaim from the living room,

"They already blew a guy in half! This is going to be good!"

Sounds like a gem.

Rub a Dub Dub

I just had to re-post this Natalie Dee comic, because it reminds me of Tanner so much that it's scary! My hubs is by no way psychotic in his cleanliness (well, most of the time), but he is very big on personal hygiene and has all these fascinating cleaning rituals that are ingrained into his daily routine.

Honestly, it made me a little self-conscious, especially at the beginning of our marriage, as we discovered each others habits and it was revealed that I only wash my hair (and occasionally, gasp, only shower) ever other day; I don't sleep on my pillow case, then flip it, then turn it inside out, then flip it again, and then launder it; and I don't care if my spouse uses my bath towel. But obviously it didn't make me feel that bad about myself, as evidenced by the second-day hair I'm sporting as I type.

If you're the less-clean spouse who enjoys poking fun at your OCD spouse (because it makes you feel less ashamed about your own filth) you'll enjoy this:

"do you want conditioner flowing all over your face like some animal?"


nataliedee.com

(warning if you plan to click through to see more comics, Nataliedee.com contains some comics with "adult language.")

Woe is Tanner

Before I met my now-husband, I had only known one other "Tanner." He was the little brother of my high-school (and current) best friend, Summer. (On second thought, don't click that link. She's way more stylish and cooler than me. And she actually takes the time to work on her house.) Anywhoo, all of us high school kids thought it was quite high-larious to make all kind of clever connections between the names "Summer" and "Tanner." As in, "When it's SUMMER time, do you get TANNER??????" hahahahahahahahHA

Since meeting and marrying my Tanner, I haven't met any others. There were two Tanners on the last season of The Bachelorette, (the one with the giggly Canadian, Gillian) but one of the Tanners was boring and forgettable, and the other had a creepy fet footish. I mean foot fetish, of course, but when I accidentally typed "fet footish," I laughed so hard I had to leave it up there. Anyway, MY Tanner is neither boring, forgettable, nor foot-obsessed. So, there.

Having a unique name that sounds part rugged leather-worker, part California surfer dude is indeed a blessing. You're one of a kind. The down side? You live a sad childhood void of touristy knick knacks with your name printed on them. Can you imagine your life without magnets, key chains, coffee mugs, shot glasses, and mini-license plates bearing your name? Sad, isn't it? Knowing how Tanner longed for these trinkets, I always kept a keen eye out for that hidden gem. I knew it had to be out there. Somewhere there was a rack of personalized items that had not left my Tanner out in the cold.

I was right.

After 4 years of looking, I found him.

You didn't even know they still made Beanie Babies, did you? Well, they do. And I would like to salute the TY corporation (or whoever made this knock off) for kindly remembering my man, with such a manly, multicolored, fuzzy wuzzy tribute.

My Husband, The Revolutionary

There's nothing that says, "Hey girl, you're really in truly married! Can you believe it?!" like stumbling into the bathroom at 3 am (because you have a bladder the size of a olive) and dunking your bottom in a nice, cold bowl of toilet water.

Because he won't put the lid down.

He refuses to put the lid down.

Even at night, when you're tired, and confused, and don't want to turn the lights on...

he won't close the lid.

Because he's making a stand. A stand for all men who have suffered under the toilet tyranny of women for decades. Because he has logic on his side. "If I have to lift the lid, you should have to lower the lid."

He's right. But it's cold. The water is cold... and wet. And it's 3am. And in my sweet, innocent sleepiness, I forgot for a moment that I was married to a boy. A boy that lives with me and uses my toilet and is spearheading a grassroots resistance that will sweep through bathrooms across the country (watch out!). And I have drowsy, disoriented, cold-bottomed anger. And his bath towel is hanging just a little bit closer than mine.

It's so tempting. Ha! He'll never know there's toilet water on his bath towel. Then he'll go to dry his hair and he'll have toilet water hair! Hahahaha!

But I like to run my fingers through his hair. And I don't want toilet water hands, in addition to my toilet water bottom. So, I resist the temptation. And live to fight again another day.

(I promise, I will not overshare in this manner in the future.)

Deep, Dark Confessions

You date someone for four years, and you think you know them well. And then, you get married, and then, then, they reveal things about themselves you could have never imagined. Things, that if you had known before you got married, would have changed it all.

Today Tanner told me one of those things. One of those truths that makes you question everything.

"Sometimes, when mom would buy Oreos, but we would run out of milk, I would dunk them in water."

Water.

You think you know someone, but you really don't.

Things Boys Do: Boys & Bugs

I'd say it's pretty standard that it's the husband's duty to eradicate the house of bugs -- it's one of the perks of having a guy around (ya know, that and twisting off pickle jar lids). While I'm not particularly terrified of any specific bug, I definitely do not like them, and I definitely call for Tanner to come and deal with them. There is one caveat, I insist on a short, relatively painless death, or catch and release if it's in the house. I don't like to see any creature suffer even if it is a black widow spider. (Yep, I found one of these yesterday, and had Tanner come back and smoosh it with stick after his first attempt, spraying it with wasp spray, left her wriggling and squirming for way too long to be humane.)

Well, Tanner's taken it to a new level with dealing the bugs. We've been having trouble with flies lately. Tanner says they come out after it rains, and it doesn't help that we're surrounded by livestock of all kinds on all sides of our house. (Plus Tanner says I must have been born in a barn because I dawdle around and leave the door open for hours while I go in and out of the house, let the dogs in, etc.) Flies aren't really high up there on the yikes meter, but they are annoying and gross. (I learned in junior high that they regurgitate all over your food while they're eating it.) We don't have a fly swater, so Tanner has developed his own method.

He catches the flies in his bare hand, out of mid-air or by swiping them off the table. And I'm not just talking about big, bumbling, drunk flies, I'm talking about little, darty, speedy guys. And Tanner DOES NOT miss. I think he's failed maybe twice that I've seen in the one month we've been living together. It's incredible. His hands move like lightening. Once he's got them in his fist, he gives them a quick shake to make sure he's got em (and a quick peak to me since I never believe they're really in there), and them BAAM he throws them against the floor, striking them immediately dead. It's bizarre. I mean really bizarre. I have a feeling as this cohabitation journey continues, I'm going to learn a lot more about weird things boys do.

Tanner may be the hunter, but I'm the gatherer.
Here are his victims from the other evening.

Another weird fly-related moment last night. I found one of the little guys had been trapped in the refridgerator, and presumably froze to death. I sat it on the table next to Tanner so he could see how perfectly it had been preserved. And the little bugger came back to life!